It begins!

I had forgotten what it was like to actually have things to do. I’ve been working during Oliver’s quiet time and in the evenings recently and it’s nice. I’m tired mentally, but it’s manageable. It just means I spend less time staring at my phone, which is good. I have a deadline for the end of this week to get stuff done and that’s good because then I can focus on my PoNS.

On Wednesday last week I had a pre-assessment for the therapy. My family and friends rallied to give me rides to-and-from and it’s the nicest thing (I’m crying internally). That day I almost threw up in my cousin’s car, it was a sudden feeling with no build up to warn me. I emptied my purse out just in case I needed somewhere to be sick. Thankfully my body decided to simmer down. I told my physiotherapist, then she did some eye testing and could basically see why I get nauseous. I was trying to google what it could be? She said that normally eyes would move across like this: ———, but because my brain is so tangled my eyes do this: – – – – -. I feel like my brain is just sloshing around when I’m in a car! Neil was relieved it wasn’t all his driving. I guess I am glad to know why it happens, but is it like this forever now?! Garbage. I tried wearing a blindfold yesterday when we went to the library and I’m not sure if it helped. I’ll try again tomorrow.

Lazy eye

Today is my first full PoNS day. I’ll have to pack a lunch because last week around 11am I told my physiotherapist I was snacky. Oliver and I are on the same food schedule and that’s the time we get hangry for lunch, it also adds to the nausea. Why do I feel so barfy always?

Neil flew to Toronto for work this morning, and Oliver is excited to have a grandma day. I just realized that Neil will be away on December 1st and that marks the return of Oliver’s elf, Skinnamarink (he chose the name last year). Uh oh, does anyone know where to get helium balloons delivered?!

Last night….uh this morning…at 4:30am Neil woke us up to say goodbye. Oliver was awake from then until 7am and I’m a complete garbage person because I just yelled at him to go to sleep. He woke me up (I was awake already) because he wanted to go sit on the potty and I was pleasant that time. BUT then he continued doing the same thing until his sun came up. “OHHHHH MY NOSE! I’M THIRSTY! MUM? MUM? MUUUUUUUMMM? I HAD A BAD DREAM!” I just yelled at him “HOW COULD YOU HAVE A BAD DREAM WHEN YOU AREN’T EVEN SLEEPING? OLIVER GO TO SLEEP! MUM IS FEELING RED AND I’M TIRED!” Then he yelled at me to get up at 7. RUDE. If Neil had left and not said bye it would have been 100x worse so I’ll take it I guess. Now I’m just left feeling like a mean mum for not being there for him.

How I feel

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