I can’t find motivation to write anything down. For myself, for therapy, responding to messages, sometimes explaining things in words, or just talking to people. At this very moment my brain keeps leaving to think about things I need to buy? Do I need to fill the bird feeder? I should see what mum made for dinner. My mum brings me dinner often because she lives next door & I’m forever a helpless baby bird who needs food delivered to my face.
See? I left.
Neil started a new job, I was doing preschool drop off & pickup, preschool ended so we play all day, I have physio twice a week, I’ve had 1524754 appointments, the furnace was replaced in the house, I’ve had 2 bladder infections, I likely have another but I’m still alive. I’m happy. I can drive, I can walk (occasionally unassisted), it’s rained a lot (100% glorious for me & physical function), Oliver is cute and 4, Neil is cute and forever will be my dream Scottish prince.
I write more when I have things to complain about I suppose. I still do, but the happy currently outweighs the crud.
We went to the zoo and rented a power chair for me. It was AMAZING. I often think about the zoo & how much fun Oliver would have, but then I immediately remember how physically exhausted I would be after 5 minutes. We walked from our car to the visitor centre and I was ready to call it a day. I anticipated feeling uncomfortable needing what I believe to be ‘the end stage’ of mobility aids. To my surprise I gave zero shits and was excited to be moving fast. I didn’t feel like I was about to collapse from fatigue/heat exhaustion (does it count as heat exhaustion when my body bails when the temperature is higher than +18 degrees?)
I liked saving the energy I would normally use to try and walk half normal. It was toasty out, we were in sun a lot, and the combination of those make my body melt. It doesn’t matter how much physio I did, my internal temperature stomps on everything when it’s raised in the slightest. The chair helped because I was sitting and not trying to stay standing.
That will be my brain’s distraction. I already googled mobility scooters for 15 minutes in the middle of writing this.